so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
