dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
