Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
