Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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