cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
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I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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