I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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