where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
