apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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