Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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