Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
