To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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