1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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