forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
