YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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