thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The uberlube is also flammable
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
