So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
