Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
