this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
