sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
