You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
