I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
