We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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