Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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