Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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