And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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