apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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