Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
