Don't you send me to vm
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
