don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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