ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it hurts more in the daytime
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
