wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
