We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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