You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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