I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
