Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
