i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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