if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
