OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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