my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
