shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize