I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
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Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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