i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
