That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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