Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
