i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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