They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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