two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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