eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
