So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
