My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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