i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
