Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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