You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
