I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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