and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
