i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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