My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
