she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
