I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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