Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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