Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
