Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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