I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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