Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
