Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
