I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
