remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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