Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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